The Pyramid of Parenting

I am not sure if I came up with this mini-theory on the pyramid of parenting, or if I was influenced by one of my much wiser and more experienced parenting friends, or if its a combination of my own reflections with something I read somewhere. But here it is nonetheless.

To me, good parenting takes place when 3 levels of the pyramid are happening and present. And it is rare.

Level 1 is the base of the pyramid. It is the foundation and without it none of the other levels are possible. Level 1 parenting is basic survival parenting. Food and shelter parenting. This is the easy stuff, but the stuff that scares the shit out of us the first 4 weeks. The how-do-I-keep-this-tiny-thing-alive part of parenting. Most teen moms are able to master this level, often with the help of their own moms.

Level 2 parenting gets a little more sophisticated. Now its not just survival parentings, its a step above the basic non-neglect needs. Is my kid warm, full, happy, well-rested. I admit to having a couple key Level 2 parenting failures in my brief time as a mother. One includes failing to notice my son lost his socks on top of the Eiffel Tower in crazy 45 degree cold and fearing that his feet had suffered frostbite. And my current battle with his sleep, which happens beautifully only when he is next to me. Still wrestling with that one.

Level 3 parenting is the toughest and its the area where I find its easiest for me to feel like a failure, depending on the day. It is assisting with the higher level functioning and development of this little human. It means stimulating, challenging, reading, giving opportunities for independence, growth, learning. It is what propelled me to sign up for our brief stint in the mommy and me music class. The need to feel like I am going beyond the basics and helping my son to grow and develop, providing environments that will constantly stretch him to the next milestone and connect more neurotransmitters. Level 3 parenting makes me feel like I am doing everything I can do to help facilitate my son in reaching his potential. And being the super smartest most awesome person ever.

Mastering and accomplishing all three levels of the parenting pyramid on a daily basis is a challenge. And its a rare day when I can say that I feel like I nailed it. But it doesn't stop me from trying.

The ULTIMATE challenge, however, is how to accomplish the complete magical parenting pyramid AND still live balls to the wall. Does it mean that as a mother I am only able to pyramid parent (because this alone takes a LOT of effort)? Or can I also live balls to the wall in my professional life? Can I kill it professionally and bust ass and be amazing at what I do both in the home AND out of the home, going full throttle maximum effort in both? Or does attempting to do so set me up for definite Level 3 parenting failures? This is my real exploration: living balls to the wall as a mother.