I was ruminating on the nature of parenting, and the challenges i face as an individual with deep and dramatic desires for adventure and meaningful contributions and travel and impactful work. and i started to think that the word that best describes how i was feeling these past few months is SACRIFICE.
Sacrifice - an act of giving up something valued for the sake of something else regarded as more important or worthy.
as a mother, i find that there are many things that i am choosing to sacrifice for the sake of something else more important - my son. not surprisingly, i sacrifice some of the work that i value...i forgo certain projects and work less on things i care about in order to spend more time with him. i sacrifice some of the things that i love, such as sleep and extensive travel, in order to be there for him. i sacrifice time with my friends in order to put him to bed each night, and i sacrifice time getting ready in the morning (and as a consequence often sacrifice feeling good about how i look) in order to be sure to give him the attention he wants. i sacrifice what i want to do a million little moments through out the day, because i happily give them all up for the sake of him.
its not something i need him to thank me for later on. its something that is natural to me, and seems inherent in the position. its something that i can't imagine not doing, as he is always (and always will be) regarded as more important or worthy than just about anything.
i know the importance of being happy - and that a happy parent makes for happy children. believe me, i indulge my dreams and interests often. i am not a martyr. but i do see how critical and intrinsic the notion of sacrifice is to being the kind of parent i want to be. and its important to acknowledge how hard that can be sometimes. its not that the rest of me shriveled away and died when my son was born and i no longer have the outlandish intentions and impulsive desires to act...those are all still there (sometimes straining to be unleashed). it is rather that i, most oftentimes, choose to sacrifice my selfish impulses for something of much greater value. and i am confident that not only am i happier for it, and he is better for it, but also that these pieces of me will be still be there when the time is right and selfishness over sacrifice makes sense again.
Sacrifice - an act of giving up something valued for the sake of something else regarded as more important or worthy.
as a mother, i find that there are many things that i am choosing to sacrifice for the sake of something else more important - my son. not surprisingly, i sacrifice some of the work that i value...i forgo certain projects and work less on things i care about in order to spend more time with him. i sacrifice some of the things that i love, such as sleep and extensive travel, in order to be there for him. i sacrifice time with my friends in order to put him to bed each night, and i sacrifice time getting ready in the morning (and as a consequence often sacrifice feeling good about how i look) in order to be sure to give him the attention he wants. i sacrifice what i want to do a million little moments through out the day, because i happily give them all up for the sake of him.
its not something i need him to thank me for later on. its something that is natural to me, and seems inherent in the position. its something that i can't imagine not doing, as he is always (and always will be) regarded as more important or worthy than just about anything.
i know the importance of being happy - and that a happy parent makes for happy children. believe me, i indulge my dreams and interests often. i am not a martyr. but i do see how critical and intrinsic the notion of sacrifice is to being the kind of parent i want to be. and its important to acknowledge how hard that can be sometimes. its not that the rest of me shriveled away and died when my son was born and i no longer have the outlandish intentions and impulsive desires to act...those are all still there (sometimes straining to be unleashed). it is rather that i, most oftentimes, choose to sacrifice my selfish impulses for something of much greater value. and i am confident that not only am i happier for it, and he is better for it, but also that these pieces of me will be still be there when the time is right and selfishness over sacrifice makes sense again.
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